In our talking on the phone, you said something to the effect that you were so blown out you just had to give yourself some leeway and just let go and not do any of the breathing or relaxing (almost as if it was difficult to do).
I agree that breathing and relaxing is "difficult" to do if it must be done for 45 minutes, and that trying to do it for 45 minutes every day for a year is likely to not succeed (though I don't exclude the possibility that it might be done).
So, the question comes down to "what does it take to succeed?" Or the alternative "how do you begin a journey of a 1000 miles" (take the first step and then go a step at a time).
When something is "huge", one automatically feels "overwhelmed".
The Formula for Overwhelm includes "stopping" and "looking" and then prioritizing. And one of the methods that is used in meeting big objectives (such as eating an elephant) is to "chunk down" (to one bite at a time).
So...
I want you to know that the thinking behind my recommending that you do "little chunks" was based around that and accommodating the Low Frustration
Toleration Syndrome. A person who is anxious is constantly focused on danger and being alert for it, so it is difficult to go do other things, as one is anxious to come back to doing the process that the person thinks will work (though it never does), such as Worry or put oneself down, etc.
The escape out of that vicious circle lies in being able to say "I'll be back real soon, so don't worry, Primitive Brain". Then one does an action for a tolerable period of time, thus I suggested the hard-to-see-the-benefit Timer Tool practice. If that is not used, one can simply time it on some time device, like a watch. Or one can simply do a limited number of actions that would be deemed to not take too long.
Though the Primitive Mind might say "I need some relief" so I've got to stick to my fretting, if one chooses to use one's higher mind one can assure the Primitive Mind of being ok for a bit and then do something that will actually benefit the Primitive Mind (and body). It is guaranteed that one will feel better (and that the Primitive Mind will get some positive signals and some relief) after doing the two "almost no time" practices:
Stop and take 5 deep long slow breaths (if slow enough, it takes about a minute and 15 seconds to 1 1/2 minutes, with completely relaxing exhalations).
Tense and let go deeply one's legs, one's torso, one's shoulders, and one's head and neck (plus one's eyes and facial and jaw muscles) (it takes me less than a minute)
The alternative is to keep tightening up and then tightening up on the tightening up or just not letting the body untighten - and to perpetuate the problem. Only by shifting to a "doable" can one begin to correct the process.
So my question is "do you want to being to correct the ongoing tension process or to perpetuate it?" "Do you want to get better?" "If so, how will you do it, if you don't begin doing something "doable" on a regular basis?"
Let me know sometime what you choose. (And if you choose to do this, whether you are willing to track daily, on a monitoring sheet with a few other things on it, how many times a day you do this."
[I'm going to be boldly negative here, but possibly realistic. I myself would kick the 45 minute a day of learning breathing in the head and forget it. I would instead do the 2 times a day complete relaxation of the body that I've recommended to you, plus the 1 - 2 minute "breaks" above. And then add some meditation or yoga type things as you choose, as bonus activities.]
Keith
