Right now this is in notes form for construction by Barbara, who will ultimately craft the letter (most probably) when she is at that level of realization and "enlightenment" (beyond right/wrong). See the criteria for writing such a letter (if it is to be mailed) in Rackets; read it all and follow the formats and heed the warnings about what doesn't work...
This letter is not to be written as a mea culpa, which is based on blame. It is written as an acknowledgement of one's responsibility in the matter.
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I made you wrong rather than understanding you and knowing that you grew up in the same family as I did and that you were simply doing what you learned, which was also true for me. I apologize for the damage I had done in my erroneously thinking I had to "fight back".
I made you wrong for what I thought was mistreatment of me as a child, what I thought was a pattern of putting me down. I see now that you were simply doing what you knew and that it was not appropriate for me to make you wrong and also to behave as I did.
I was too concerned about little things and I know that was irritating and offputting, as it would seem to be more like criticism than a request.
I admire you.
I write this for myself but also to you knowing it might add some understanding and possibly a relief for you in seeing that I am now aware of what I did, with apologies....
I know I can never repair the damage I've done in my foolish, childish behavior.
I realized I should have ceveloped the a ility to be murturing and caring but I didn't...
I profoundly apologize. I hope this letter does some good for you, as it might relieve ...
