COMMENTS
Below is a proposed possible decision process based on the primary idea in the effectiveness in Completing My Decisions. This was meant as an example of the type of thinking and self-talk one would have in making a decision. However, it was not received as such, as it seemed to Barbara to be a denial of how hard it is to overcome such a recurring process for her. Certainly she needs to experience a compassionate response from others in regard to this repeated traumatic experience and the fear of the effects of being isolated because of not being able to interact with others. She has called her hyperventilation episodes the equivalent of a gran mal seizure.
THE EXAMPLE OF THE REASONING IN A POSSIBLE DECISION:
I realize that I have been allowing myself to suffer by perpetuating the occurrence of hyperventilation. I will not tolerate letting myself suffer from that. The cost is huge to me. I realize that there are some costs to my stopping the hyperventilation but that the payoff is far more. I also realize that I am a capable being, and, as such, I can create ways of diminishing the costs and increasing my own happiness, filling in the holes as needed. As part of that I commit to creating and fully implementing my plan for giving to myself as is suggested in Giving To Yourself What Is Needed.
I realize and accept that my imagined need for approval from others is in place, and, until it is removed, I need to be objective about what to do to solve my problem right now. As such, I have decided to heed the advice and information in Hyperventilation - What Percent Is Curable? I am seeking action and results and I am no longer willing to be a victim in the matter. I am looking at that process for opportunities. I can clearly see that the part of the chain I can stop right now is in avoiding the event and also leaving the event if it does recur.
I see that this is the equivalent of choosing to stop touching a burning stove. Though I might wish to solve the problem of the burning stove, I am not yet capable of that, and I accept that. I choose to stop touching the burning stove.
I hereby commit, and deem this worthy to commit, to:
Not putting myself into any situation that will create hyperventilation and identifying what those situations are. For now, I identify:
1. Getting into conversations with people I feel threatened by, for lack of approval,
possible rejection, competiveness, unfavorable comparison, and the like.
This occurs in the past in:
The social/lunch hall at church
Engaging anyone who is threatening in conversation
2. Leaving possible hyperventilation situations, using whatever excuse I need to,
as it is imperative I not continue to hold my hand on this burning stove.
For now, though I will upgrade this, this is what I will do:
Say:
"I have to take care of something urgent right now."
"I have an appointment I must get to right away."
"I'm experiencing a physical problem right now and I must take care of
it. I'm not sure I'll be back. My apologies. I'll see you later."
I will find other ways to fill my social needs in a way that works for me and I hereby commit to not being a victim in this and to be proactive and to make the tough decisions around the tradeoffs I must make. I will adjust and plan as is appropriate to make sure that this happens, as it is a vital decision for me. I also accept that I cannot have it both ways and that is why I needed to make this decision.
I make this decision and commitment today and I am choosing to implement this on this day and forward. I also make the commitment to accept the reality that I, as a human being, may slip once in a while. And so it is.
Decided and commited to this ___ day of ___________________, ________
Signed ________________________________________
Yes, I will continue to work on the underlying factors to which I am presently vulnerable until I develop enough power to revisit this decision due to the change in conditions. I can and I will create those conditions. If anyone else can do it, I certainly can.
