THE CAGE STATEMENT
"I will forever be lonely and I'll just be miserable if that is so . I can't socialize as I will panic. Since I panic in any situation that matters (= where other people are better than me), I'll never have relationships, so therefore I'll always be lonely."
This is a "I'm stuck and hopeless statement" and accordingly a victim statement, as being hopeless, helpless, powerless are signs of choosing to be a victim in regard to this matter.
When one is schooled in and aware of the power of taking on the role of being an adult and being fully responsible, then one would be seeking a solution rather than a justification (of how terrible it is - which is a "story"). The person would be seeking progress, attempting to move forward, and operating from the viewpoint of possibility. Yes, it could be true that there is no possibility, but that is so rare that it is virtually never true.
Certainly, in this case, there are lots of things to do that would forward oneself.
Another is to actuall accept reality and appreciate all that there is that is wonderful and good - and see that there is plenty.
Another is to look at the supporting beliefs and then to rework them into true beliefs that will better work for oneself, as suggested in the Beliefs section. (Note that a person who wants to get out of the unhappiness that the person creates from unfavorable circumstances one need to become an expert in what beliefs are, their impact, and how to change them!!!!)
WHAT BELIEFS CREATE THE MISERY?
And the belief(s) that creates the miserability:
"I can't be happy being alone (not having enough friends, etc.) I need other people to tell me I'm ok."
Is this absolutely true?
Of course, not.
What belief would serve me better?
How about "I am completely capable of finding and implementing ways of creating happiness for myself. I am self-sufficient. I am independent, yet I can choose to reach out where interdependence will serve me. I am powerful."
Is this true or reasonably true?
Yes, I could be self-sufficient. Others have done it. I need only follow their formula (see what they did).
Yes, I can choose to be independent and give up my "I am powerless" belief.
SOME MORE CONVERSATION ABOUT IT...
"I am very lonely, especially if I'm not busy. The weekends are so bad because I think everybody is with their loved ones, even though I "know" it isn't so, as you've told me.
I have superficial relationships here. But no one to b intimate with. When I bare my soul, I bare my victim. Very dangerous.
I felt so good on the beta blockers that I thought ushering was boring but now I realize I need to be somewhere on Friday night.
ACTIONS RELATED
Read and implement the related self conversations
