Barbara has formulated, on her own (with a little help from Fred), an excellent, proactive, wise plan including a number of insights.
She has observed that she was trying to do too many things and was "overloaded" and has decided to focus on just a few top priorities that have the biggest payoff. This will not only give her more good results, by far, but it will also reduce the stress from having too full of a calendar. This corresponds with time management principles and especially follows the 80/20 Principle. (See Living The 80/20 Way.)
(Her example has also reminded me to do the same, as it seems all of us humans need to be reminded, for we seem to forget or get lax in some way.)
HER PLAN
Paraphrased version of her plan, comments are after that:
My first priority: Getting better
To work on the 30 day social anxiety program to complete it.
To focus on solving the health problem, being proactive with the doctors, with
quicker turnaround.
To assure that I will maximize my learning from the Landmark Seminars, throwing myself more fully into utilizing this experience. To use my leadership skills by leading a study group.
To "own up" and to let my doctor know of the misuse or overuse of tranks, so that I can wean myself off in a controlled way without the temptation of using too many simply because they were available in an every two week prescription for them.
To realize that the self respect from not taking the pills was curative and
more beneficial, and that it is worth it to accept the discomfort.
To not have any tranks available once I wean off of them.
To join NA (Narcotics Anonymous) and to utilize their call number when needed to help me refrain from taking a dose of tranks. This would also help provide the caring voice and understanding that I didn't get from coaching.
To let go of the coaching with Keith, using Fred as needed, and perhaps Keith once in a while.
To continue to read Wayne Dyer in the a.m. and to apply it to my life.
To be very vigilant about what I am thinking and to intervene as early as possible. (Possibly to write about those feelings also.)
To write out every day a list of what went well, and to use it as a reminder at night (kept on the bedstand), of what is positive, to get out of the negative frame of mind when I wake up in a lower state of resourcefulness.
To set it up so that I am generating ideas on my own and then owning them, realizing that I am actually "the author of my life."
To do as well as I can in following the plan, but not to expect perfection and to accept any setbacks.
COMMENTS
She had to make a decision of "Am I going to be victorious over my challenges or be a victim of them?" She decided that it actually took less energy to address her challenges than the seeming ease of just being a victim.
The approach that we had of discussing and then dealing with various issues as they came up didn't seem to work, though I had attempted to write up additional information that I thought might have been helpful. Many were perhaps scanned by her and many were put aside for later reading, but the exercises to lock them into practice were not completed. The relationship violated the tenets of good coaching in that I did not assure that the sessions were "performer driven" instead of "coach driven" - the latter does not work. See The Coaching Conversation if you want to know more about that. She also felt "pressured" and "not reinforced", which is not useful in such a relationship. She also stated that she was nervous in our conversations. She stated that it was more helpful when I gave her examples from my life (as opposed to being a guru who is not sharing); she said that it helps for her coach to "be more on my level." She also felt there was no set program to build on. She saw that, and our conversations were stopped, except for possibly some special situations. Some of her learnings from our conversations were, however, utilized in her seeing what was appropriate for her plan.
Now she is probably at a point where she is a self-generator, more the author of her own life, accepting setbacks but avoiding going into being a victim about it when she can do so.
