In process, but to be used until revised
In order for our work together to be productive, we need to have an agreed upon overall plan of what we will be doing. These are the ingredients I believe will work as a foundation. Of course, we can alter some of it, by agreement, using logic and reasoning.
In order to begin the engagement, you need to
1. Consider what is involved and
2. Decide if you will do the necessary work involved to "get to the other side", to achieve success in life (happiness).
3. Pledge, on your word of honor, to follow all the rules, instructions, and to do whattever it takes to assure I make progress as fast as is workable. See The Coachee Pledge.
Without doing the work, progress is close to impossible as things will not be deep enough nor complete enough. You must gain sufficient knowledge and do the planning and implementation work. You can propose changes that you think will work better, and I'll look at them, but you must follow the path that I specify, even if it isn't perfect (if you've got a better one, then you'll propose it).
Many people say they want to be better off, but they don't seem to want to do "The Work" that is necessary. Some have such a big payoff in being a victim and a habit of being so. The only way we can make progress is through having enough discipline to go through the processes recommended.
There are no shortcuts and no magic solutions. For those thinking there are "mysterious forces" that run you, you must give up that idea and learn how the brain actually works. [See The Truths And Realities Of Life.] If you are still convinced that you can't get better or make progress, then it is time to disengage and stop pretending. To make progress, you must pay the price.
You must be responsible for your own progress and understanding. If you do not understand something, are confused or overwhelmed, then you would be responsible for saying so and for working out a better way of proceeding (at least discuss it).
You must commit to no less than 5 hours a week (except, obviously, for emergencies).
You will complete a form every week on your progress. It will include a summary of "what I learned this week and any insights I gleaned", a list of what you did for the week, and what you will do next week (your promises). The form will be revised and added to over time. Yes, it requires some effort but it is necessary effort to make things work, so I can know what is going on and for you to fully cognate and see what is going on.
This work takes some diligence, but no incredible powers. The work will be focused on solving causes first, though there may be some emergency work on "solving" symptoms - but solving symptoms without solving the cause of the problem does not work. Individuals who are engaged in just working on situations and problems that come up may get occasional insights and perhaps feel better, but the problems will be repeated until the cause is remedied.
In order to have this process work, we cannot dilly dally - we must do it intensively and as rapidly as possible.
It is suggested that you form a group to discuss the materials, though you need not share your personal dilemmas.
Prerequisites for a planning and progress engagement:
The commitment to complete the foundation for working together, to have the "raw materials" that to work onl (Some committed to payoff of staying the same, victim.)
The Overall Life Plan - Quick version
The list of beliefs - Over two weeks you will record every belief that comes up immediately before a "bad" feeling, like fear, anxiety, discomfort, tension, stress, etc. See the Beliefs section for a preview of some forms that will be used as we go. In a number of cases, there will be reading assignments relative to the beliefs.
Once you do the initial version of the above (or even as you are working on them) do the reading assignments list on this site.
Books (Keith specify the order from the List)
No results can be guaranteed per se, but I can reasonably expect you to make good progress IF you do "The Work". In fact, it would seem impossible not to make substantial progress if you diligently do the work.
Assigned reading:
Stage I. Forming a foundation of understanding
The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey
The Art Of Happiness, The Dalai Lama
Unlimited Power, Anthony Robbins (but I found that the NLP was impractical for me, so we'll discuss that after you read it. The emphasis on beliefs is excellent.)
Building Self Esteem, L. S. Barksdale - Familiarize yourself with this as it is a well-thought out and accurate way of thinking and one necessary as a foundation for creating beliefs that work.
The Success Principles, Jack Canfield - A good compilation of all that is necessary to get from where you are to where you want to be.
Stage II.
Living The 80/20 Way, Richard Koch
