THE SELF ACTUALIZED PERSON
LIVING THE LIFE I WISH TO, WITH NO CONTINGENCIES
INCREMENTS
We all want to get to this level (if we are aware of it), yet we seem to think it will come upon us in a giant leap, rather than in slow, learning increments, with alot of figuring and revising and mistake making. But, if we do it systematically and intelligently, we can "get there" relatively soon AND very well at a much more life effective level!
FROM "LONG" TO INSTANT ROUTINES
When I first began learning about psychology, I began to cut my "down" periods to about three hours. Over time, I kept learning and cutting, and now I can, in most cases, get it down to a second or two - partially because I've already thought about it, so I can implement the designated routine to automatically handle what it is that comes up (and might otherwise get in the way). I designed the routine and now I simply implement it and it takes almost no time if it is strictly a mind thing or it takes the minimum physical time to do a "doing" of the steps needed. It is only lack of clarity and definiteness and precision in our routines that create difficult, time consuming efforts.
WHAT I DO AND DON'T DO
I don't punish people (or get angry or irritated at them). I am not afraid of them, they are no threat, I don't need anything from them, I am not dependent on them to do a particular thing or treat me a particular way, so I do not need to control them or constantly be on the (exhausting) alert for them not doing what is needed. I don't need to correct them at all.
I simply make requests when I want something and they either accept them or they don't and I simply move on; I am not dependent on their 'complying.' Mine is not a "contingent" life, not contingent on anyone doing what I want or all situations having to be as I want them. My life is non-contingent, for I don't depend on the "out there" to provide my happiness, I depend 100% on myself, I am self-sufficient and don't need someone else to fill me up.
I don't demand apologies or people prostrating themselves on the ground for their lack of considering me and/or doing something wrong. I don't operate from the blame/fault paradigm. I don't criticize myself or judge myself negatively. I am simply a human being, and I don't try to escape that or expect something unrealistic, above that. I don't punish myself (or others) to get myself (or others) to do something. I operate only from the "100% responsible" paradigm, but only applied to me, not expected of others (it is not intelligent to have expectations which will never be met anyway).
I learned and implemented awhile back one of the greatest lessons and success enablers of my life, what I can The Time Out Tool. It is simply taking a brief moment to notice what is going on and notice whether it is what I want or I don't want (like a result or a feeling), and then if it needs to be corrected, seeking to do so, adjusting in the moment or setting it down so I can do what is necessary to get the desired result.
This is simply the technique of any champion, where they seek lots of feedback so they can do lots of adjusting and correcting to refine the process down to what works smoothly and effectively, as in Living Life As A Life Champion.
WHAT DOES A SELF-ACTUALIZED PERSON LOOK LIKE?
The Self-Actualizing Person:
Has "ethical morality", creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, lack of prejudice, acceptance of facts.
Thinks for him/herself in a clear way using critical thinking and reflection to come to well-considered, clear conclusions.
Lives in spontaneity, simplicity, and naturalness. Not hung up on being what others think he should be. (The latter greater simplifies life and is worth attaining!).
Has the quality of detachment, and the need for privacy.
Enjoys times for quiet reflection.
Can be with a few people he is close to and not even need to communicate with them.
Creates deeper and more profound interpersonal relationships than other adults, capable of fusion, greater love and more perfect identification that other people could consider possible
Is not running around trying to win a popularity contest.
Has systems, routines, habits, and practices that support his health and time to do that which is most important.
Although we think of "self-actualizing" as different from the seemingly-mystical idea of enlightenment, it is remarkably similar if done in a well-grounded way. See What Is Enlightenment? And Can I Achieve It?
HOW DOES ONE "GET THERE"?
The essential core path is quite clear and it is the only path. A bolt of lightning or a peak experience will not produce it.
And we want to take the most expeditious path, so that we can fully experience the aliveness, alertness, and technicolor experience of life much sooner. Sure, it could happen with 30 years of being a monk or the like, but that is not the most systematic way and it definitely takes longer than is necessary!
Obviously, it includes learning and thinking rigorously with what actually works in life, in the physical world but also absolutely in the mental, emotional world.
And, it makes no sense to take any longer to do it than necessary, so the path should include mastery over how to learn and how to think (two "meta-skills" that increase the other skills).
The process will seem slow and many people will seek shortcuts and instant solutions and lots of "hope" type things that never mature into results. This is what it will look like in that regard: There Is A Tipping Point In Self Development/Actualization.
Essentially, you are creating a whole new person, able to fully live life, with joy, happiness, and fulfillment.
Although you can choose from The Paths page (especially the key recommended one), the process will look like this one: This Is The Structure Of The Program For A Great Life, With Links To the Pieces (at least take a look at the beginning overviews and then you can decide what you will do that will work for you).
You will, for sure, have bumps in the road and "problems" due to lack of sufficient knowledge, but you will quickly learn from them, uncommonly (as common repeats the problems), and put in place fully working "systems" that support living a much higher level of life.
Bon Voyage!
Keith
Email me with questions, comments, suggestions, recommended other resources, etc.
THE OVERVIEW PIECE
This Is The Structure Of The Program For A Great Life, With Links To the Pieces - Tying it all together.
RELEVANT PIECES
No Fault - The key paradigm without which you cannot be happy.
No Blame - Along with no right/wrong, it transports life ahead.
100% responsible - You absolutely cannot create the greatest life without this (a bit obvious of course)
Outcome Independency - Talked about, but few know how to do it
Living Life As A Life Champion - Includes the core strategy that propels life forward into an exponentially rising curve.
REMARKABLY SIMILAR TO:
To get "there", one must build this:
1. A foundation:
Sufficient ability to provide for oneself all the basic physical needs.
Take care of one's safety needs - and remove "falsely believed" threats.
A sound emotional framework and management system for living.
A definite, strong, clear philosophy and viewpoint of life - and my own self esteem and ability to love and accept the variability in life.
2. A structure that will be strong and powerful:
The ability to be greatly productive of value in life, such that a massive amount of time is available for learning more of life in order to be able to be free of fear and able to choose wisely in life.
Learn life at an even greater level, permitting one to be higher and higher in being self actualized and wisely living life.
