Once we have "grown up" and realized that life is not about getting someone to love us in order to take care of us and that we are no longer dependent on others or powerless to fill our own needs, we are freed up to simply decide what we will do with our lives. Getting approval, living up to supposed standards of others, judging our own worth - all are things of the past that we have let go of, for we will do just fine in life without those.
Circle which of these, and add any you want, to choose which of these will fill up your life: (From a painting on a wood fence.)
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO USE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
Once you decide which you will do, then you could complete the sentence (or a paragraph on each). Inspire others to live better lives, succeed at business...etc.
THE OTHER CHOICES IN LIFE
In childhood, we are truly powerless to provide our own food and shelter, so we are dependent on others, and we must have them love us as it seems our very survival depends on it. If we refuse to see that we are powerful enough to provide for ourselves and that the support system (roads, grocery stores, etc.) will work without need to be approved of and that we are no longer dependent, then our choices would involve perpetuating our childhood beliefs.
Based on that, you could choose to:
LIVE A CONTINGENT LIFE, where you choose to:
Be a victim, be dependent on others, be powerless or less powerful than a full adult.
Wait for conditions to be better for your life, and put off life.
Live for people's approval, which is actually not needed for survival.
Wait for others to give you enough (which is not realistic)
Wait to be "good enough" (which seemed to have some validity when we had to be
loved to survive)
Compare yourself to others, as if it were actually relevant for survival
OR
LIVE A NON-CONTINGENT LIFE CREATED BY YOU, where you choose to:
Just to fill up your life with that which you want, needing no approval, not having to be good enough any more, and to never be a victim - and just loving yourself.
Unfortunately, many people hold on to having to be "special" in others' eyes versus just honoring and respecting ourselves and being special to ourselves (which is the only "special" we can rely on). They hold onto an imaginary dependency they may not be fully aware of to have others think they are good enough compared to others (as if other people really cared that much). They hold on to having to be liked, which is no longer necessary at all when we don't depend on tribal approval to survive.
