THE KINDNESS VIEWPOINT
AN ESSENTIAL WAY OF "SEEING"
AN ESSENTIAL VIEWPOINT FOR HAPPINESS
The "Kindness Viewpoint" is a reflection of a perspective from "on high".
I approach each person feeling a kindness in my eyes. I recognize that they are 99+% "just like me".
If I am in physical danger or there is an actual threat, then I deal with it appropriately, but nowhere in the process do I make the other person "wrong" or "bad" - as they are just doing what they know and cannot operate higher than that knowingness.
I feel Compassion for the suffering and the struggle of others.
I see in them a "me".
"I am just like them" is a key point and a key meditation in Buddhism....and for good reason, as it is part of the compassion that underlies our very happiness.
WE NOTICE THE DIFFERENCES ON THE SURFACE, BUT ...
Yes, there are differences, but the similarities are vastly greater.
I have 96% of the genes of an ape, but I have 99+% of the same genes as any other person. I have 99+% of the same processes going on in my body and in my mind....
They are all kindred souls, whether from another country, religion, gender, sexual preference, set of social values, educational level or ...
When they are not overly afraid, they all respond to kindness. They all wish to be happy and to avoid suffering - but they have learned ways that work or don't work, so they make human mistakes and do human misbehavings - but only because they do not (yet) know better.
RELAXED, BUT PRACTICAL
We can be kind and relaxed without being naive or unintelligent about managing our surroundings and reactions.
"I am kind and relaxed with people, just as a Kung Fu master is centered and always aware, ready to move where it is appropriate to defend, given that human nature is basically good but also has its quirks. Knowing the possibility of attack or danger, I am the master, still relaxed and not fretting whether I will be ok. I am confident that I will respond well. I am prepared and I have practiced my "key moves" so thatI can handle whatever happens." (This is like the master of life, who has also determined and practiced his/her "coping strategies" - see Coping With Life.)
YOU MUST ALSO HAVE THIS KIND OF KINDNESS
Perhaps the most essential key to happiness (or at least to eliminating a happiness barrier) is to always be kind and gentle with yourself, much as an enlightened parent would be with a child.
We are all only as knowledgeable as we are at the moment - and expecting more than that (living in the Unhappiness Gap) is totally preposterous - but many people expect it of themselves and others. But would you criticize a six year old for not being a master piano player? If not, then you would not criticize anyone at any point in life for having not learned more than they've learned - for they could have done no different given all that occurs in their lives.
"I am always kind and gentle with myself, ever growing in wisdom and love."
THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF...GO I
You've undoubtedly heard something to the effect of the wisdom of this statement when seeing another who is not so well off: "There but for the grace of God, go I."
A modification of that is: "There but for my having learned more, go I."
I am no different than others, at the core, as a learning machine - but each of us varies on what we've learned, with much of that being based on factors outside of our control, including circumstances, parents, who we were around, and a myriad of factors that determined our path and even our interest in learning.
(You can learn more about this type of "straight thinking" by reading the excerpts I've pulled out of Barksdale's materials [the free ebook included herein, link into that from this page] The Procedure For Building Sound Self-Esteem.. This page leads into other essential pieces to learn and master.
