tba
Why do I, like right now, want to go eat some ice cream and watch tv, especially when I've got some things I'm working on that are interesting and even exciting, especially when I put them together in some great whole? [Since this was written, I've solved the ice cream urge - and am perfectly comfortable not having any!]
Well, duh!
I must have some "emotion", something I need to seek probably of a survival nature since I'm a human being. Of course, to have that emotion, I have to have a belief of some sort that causes the emotion to be generated by my body.
I am a bit hungry. I am wondering how I can get all this written the right way. Will this all go for naught? Can I ever finish it?
I must be having these thoughts or otherwise why would I be getting that result. The result in this case is the emotion and the thought related to it of having to escape or entertain myself (though it feels more like escape, a form of comfort).
Yes, I feel "discomfort"! Amazing! How terrible!
It must be awful that I feel discomfort. I should be in a panic about it! For that lack of control and not being in control itself means that I will not survive... And that IS serious!
It could mean that those would cause me to be looked at unfavorably (or worse) by others - which means to me that I will not survive, since I need other people to survive, since as a kid I needed people to feed me and protect me, as I was powerless and therefore needed to depend on others for my critical need; therefore I was truly dependent.
And now... Oops, I'm an adult now. I have proven I can cause things to happen and that I can make choices (though not always right ones), so I must have power. Oh, and I can earn a living, so I can feed myself - even if I have to go to a food kitchen I can get food. So, I guess I am not dependent. Oh, shoot, that blows my whole story.
And, yes, as a baby, discomfort indicated something had to be taken care of, on either end. So I cried and it got results; of course, many people still do the equivalent, such as in complaining or pity-me games, which are a way of crying to get someone else to do somethingt for you. At least one could get sympathy - and in the primitive mind that looks like "caring", which of course was crucial as a baby. oops, I'm getting concepts confused. I'm not a baby. I better separate these out, rather than collapse them together or give them some kind of meaning that doesn't represent reality. Sympathy, pity = love, being cared for. No, even an idiot can see those aren't the same. Oops, I'm calling myself an idiot if I go for sympathy thinking it is a form of love - or even thinking that I need love in order for me to be an ok person - how dumb is that!
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Oops now I've gone afar from the topic!
Or have I?
If I believe the anxiety thoughts or the boring thoughts, then I am being a passive victim, turning my mind over to the primitive mind - which is not a great idea, methinks! I simply need to proactively develop a plan or a sequence of thoughts that create what I want and then take over my body and mind to implement that plan.
Let's see, now, what would that look like in reality?
First, I see that I am not the victim nor the "effect" of a recording (thought) or series of recordingsthat float through my mind in association with "something" that came up and somehow my brain matched up with it.
I could say "I see that I am anxious. What is that all about? Is there real danger?"
Is watching tv going to get me what I really most want in life? (Oh, shoot, I have to know what I really want? How about suckling and someone changing my diapers? Oops, do I have to do more thinking that that?)
I guess I'll have to think here, proactively direct my brain. Ok....
I want the satisfaction of finishing this piece of writing that I am working on. Yes, there is the fact that I'd like to have more of the pieces finished, but I can only work on one at a time.
Also, I want the feeling like I used this whole day! And I want to even be proud of myself for having live this day well! And I want to feel good energy, like I took care of myself.
If I am tired now, I'll do what will address that, so that I can live my life in a high state, so I'll nap now for 20 minutes.
I never again need to let my "baby" needs rule me or my "baby" thoughts, for I get to choose - discomfort does not choose for me. I just note the sign - and then act proactively on it.
I can stand some discomfort, uneasiness if you will, and I can still move forward.
Note: This is not a matter of good or bad or of being heroically disciplined and therefore looked up to. It is a matter of what works and what really matters. And the confidence to know that I have human power, to choose and to decide what I want, and to get that which I truly find of great value to me and which gives me greater satisfaction and happiness. I am just using more of my higher brain and higher Self.
