THE GREATEST EMOTIONAL COSTS OF ALL
SOLVE THESE TWO AND THE OTHERS WILL DISSOLVE
tba, draft but the idea is clear...
These are emotional costs (= not feeling good), but all emotions are chemically based and affect the body. The "distress" emotions have huge costs on the body, where it is thrown out of functional balance, where it stops many of its repair functions and other necessary functions. See The Costs Of Destabilzation and the articles it links to.
1. Dissatisfaction with oneself
2. Lack of confidence that one is capable of handling life
If one is confident, the evidence is no stress and no anxiety (and no body
symptoms).
Of course, we'll not be superhuman, but sufficient self-knowledge leads to one allowing for not being perfect or all powerful. It allows the perspective of accepting what doesn't work out and then just moving forward, without hesitance or regret, - and not living a life that is contingent on circumstances (including how people treat one).
Since the two greatest emotional costs that are occurring constantly are based on "lack", the antidote is to fill in what is missing with what is truly filling, not falsely filling or momentarily relieving.
EMOTIONAL IGNORANCE
As I study and study and read and read, as I understand more and more of how things work, I am struck with how we let ourselves get by with inadequate knowledge about emotions.
Of course, most people would protest this, pointing out that they do understand emotions.
Yes, we do understand emotions, but not enough to be fully functional and fully functioning. And stopping short has a huge cost.
BUT "I'M NOT EMOTIONALLY IGNORANT!"
Maybe.
In order to determine what is so, we can only look at the objective evidence: the results.
The evidence:
We spend a huge amount of time seeking "relief" and "comfort", but fail to solve that
which is causing the problem.
We yearn for peace of mind, yet we stress ourselves out (and don't do the calming
activities).
We add to our stress through operating in a relatively constant fear mode. [A day
should have virtually no stress or anxiety.)
Many our overweight, in poor fitness shape, and have functional problems with their
body.
LACK OF RESPECT FOR ONESELF
From:
Not living up to one's expectations of how good and/or effective one "should be".
This is actually a subset of the lack of confidence that one is capable of handling life and what comes up.
We get a "negative emotional jolt" from the mind when it matches up with patterns that "say" you are doing something that needs to be corrected if you are to survive (in the broad, simple context of the mind).
If you then develop an internal conversation about how you are letting yourself down, how terrible it is, and how you are so unsure of yourself and your capability of handling what comes up in life.
Some people have a "self admonishment" system: "What's wrong with you [child] that you screwed up so much!" And, we're off and running to the self criticism races.
To help solve this, it is best to get to the root of it and learn the reality of "No Fault".
COSTS TO OUR CHILDREN
Amateur parents trying to figure it out as we go, reading a few books, responding to problems, scanning articles, but not learning - yet they are in the most important role of all, helping to create a life for their child, helping to mold them into effective, happy human beings.
Yes, parents are to admired and appreciated for all they do for their children and their hours and care overall. I only seek to add the idea that there is huge value lost in not finishing the process, not learning and honing the skills and knowledge that will make a huge difference in the lives of their children.
