SHOULD - A KILLING PHILOSOPHICAL VIEWPOINT
COULD - A REALISTIC PHILOSOPHICAL VIEWPOINT
Draft
In the "Land Of Should", people kill themselves (their spirits, anyway) with unrealistic, beyond-human expectations.
In the "Land Of Could", people see that they have the capability (aka "possibility") to gain even more in life, if they so choose, given all else that they need to do first. But there is in that "land" no conversation of being short of where one "should" be.
ARE WE, REALLY, "SHORT OF"?
In CouldLand, as opposed to ShouldLand, the following exists:
I see a "having" instead of just a missing
We are not "short" of what we need, for that would be a pure fiction. We in fact live in a life that is full of bonuses (but we've chosen to categorize those as something to (unrealistically) expect.
In ShouldLand, we ask, foolishly:
How come I didn't...?
How come I don't have...?
We engage in: the "not enough" converstaion
THE TRUE PERSPECTIVE
We need to watch our language, and, where possible, stop using the word "should" and substitute a more precise, and thus more correct, word.
Because of the negative connotation of the word "should", it would be better to more precisely define the intended meaning and to say "it might be better if". (I grant you that in a moralistic sense one might use the word should as a term of righteousness ...)
WHAT I SAY TO MYSELF...
As a human, when I am not holding life in proper perspective, I get caught up in unrealistic expectations, such as:
"I should be able to be efficient. Why do I let myself down so much more? I could be (used like a should) much better."
I shouldn't get so tired... (In RealityLand, we just get as tired as we get, from a cause that affects us as a limited human being - and then we simply do whatever action will make us not tired and more energetic.)
Icould go on and on, with all of these self-indictments, but I'm sure you can think of many in your life.
YET, THE REALITY IS...
Yet life is so incredible.
Imagine how it is compared to the caveman.
So how much better is "enough"? Will I finally be happy if I buy the current version of iPhone or a bigger house?
Well, the "should" conversation is just as ridiculous. And it does so much damage, as it produces just the opposite of what the intention might be: "if the should happens then I'll be happy". (If I set up a sentence that says "when x occurs", then I'll get a desired feeling, I am actually telling myself that I won't have that feeling until then. I won't be happy all the time that passes before I get the desired result that will "make me" happy.)
SO, THE RULE "SHOULD BE"...
So, we come to the old 11th Commandment, which you've probably heard, but "should" take notice of:
"Don't 'should' on thyself and others."
