ALL THE SAME, BASED ON A VAST MISUNDERSTANDING
Self-sabotage, self-hate, the concept of the ego - all are related and part of a vast misunderstanding of how things actually work.
The Dalai Lama, when first asked what he thought about "self hate", appeared puzzled, as he had no idea how that would be possible. And he was correct, there is no such thing. It is only a fabrication of our culture.
It is so prevalent that it has become a "truth" as a possibility and/or explanation for certain things.
So, you'll have to choose for yourself which is true, but only after you've read enough to be totally clear about how the mind actually works.
First, read the short explanation of how the mind works "for" us in the section on the Ego, where it is proven not to act against our interests on purpose. Then read The Mind to see how it developed and why it operates as it does. Then come back to this discussion - and make your choice as to whether you actually can hate yourself.
Self-sabotage is often erroneously attributed to self-hate, so that is the next section to read to put this all together.
ISN'T "CUTTING" FROM SELF-HATE?
"It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. Cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressure, or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear, or bad situations they think can't change.
Some people cut because they feel desperate for relief from bad feelings. People who cut may not know better ways to get relief from emotional pain or pressure. Some people cut to express strong feelings of rage, sorrow, rejection, desperation, longing, or emptiness." Quoted from: KidsHealth.org
Even cutting is for the purpose of relieving pain, which is actually an act of caring for oneself, though an inappropriate one for the long term. But the primitive brain, while in charge, does not know about the "long run" as it is conditioned to act immediately. The only brain that can conceptualize the long run is the higher brain - so all decisions related to the long term should be from using that great and powerful blessing.
ALL OF THE ADDICTIONS ARE FOR THE VERY SAME REASON!
If you read the Addictions section, you'll discover that all are for a short term relief from something uncomfortable, so they work in the short term, usually. It is just that they don't work in the long term. Since we can't make the decision when we are "in crisis" (a nagging discomfort we need to quiet), we must make it when we are in our rational, higher brain and we must do a darned good job of it to make it stick, doing all the steps necessary for success.
