CRUCIAL ADVICE FOR THE TEENAGE YEARS
WHAT'S COMING AND HOW TO HANDLE IT ALL
tba in development, if you want this developed earlier email me: Contact.
DUMP THE MADE-UPS
You will, unless you heed this, seem overwhelmed with stuff that is upsetting or uncertain or threatening or to be concerned about. But the truth is that 99+% of it is not a real danger and that it is just cultural "made-ups", which go unexamined and persist but are based on nonsense.
If you let all the "made-ups" stay in place and the artificial concerns, your brain processing units will not be able to handle all of that at once.
You need to tack it down, one thing at a time. (We must "cut down the enemy forces", so to speak, so we have a chance. And then deal with each one on one, but with a superior skill set that is better than The Stupid Brain.) The problem is that your brains have not developed to have the judgment capabaility you'll have when you're 25.
It is helpful to know that the judgment of you by your peers does not really matter. First of all, their criteria is often very much "off" but secondly you must overcome the idea that they are your source of okness, of your being loved enough in life to survive, as you begin to come more and more out of the child's umbrella of love and safety from your parents. (Many adults are still stuck, at least partially, in the idea that someone else must love them or they will perish - or at least some version of it. But the truth is that in this society we have all the skills needed to provide sufficiently for ourselves. There is no need to be dependent anymore at some point, with that point being earlier if one learns the Essential Core Skills.
You don't need to be popular, but if you are kind and friendly you'll get a few friends who will appreciate that. You don't need to be a hero, for that really doesn't get you anything - and it doesn't lead to happiness. What leads to happiness is good values and from good values you can good friends, friends who are friends with you as you are, not some pretend mask. And the last thing you need to add to your life is massive efforts to keep up a mask. You'll be a bit "uncool" or "dorky" because you have not yet learned some things, but you'll eventually learn them - and quicker and better if you Live Life As A Life Champion.
What does matter is that you create a clear picture of who you are and construct additions that make you solid such as more and more reliability.
TIE DOWN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN...
During the teenage years, you're formulating and trying to decide on a lot of things and trying to perform well in new areas.
However, the brain has its limits and you must know that, rather than trying to be a "super teenage" without limits. You can't fly by flapping your arms. That's a human limitation. The limitation on your brain is just as real. It would be helpful if you read how your mind works - and understand it!
You can only process one big thing at a time, if you want to do it well. And it would take a strain off your limited resources if you got someone to help you and guide you to your decisions (who you are, what to do in life, how to be, etc.).
And each time you have to redecide or create what to do, you overtax the brain if you are concerned about doing something else at the same time. Your brain is a "serial" processor (does things one at a time in a series) so you cannot do two big things at once.
You need to develop as many rituals and procedures and habits as you can, as well as you can, ahead of the time when you need to use them. If you have set ways of doing things, the mind doesn't have to hardly use any energy or be distracted by trying to figure out how to do those things.
For instance, you might note how a particular admired person operates and write about it in your Improvements, Progress Journal. And then you might work it out in detail, most likely in front of the mirror and then practice it until it is automatic. How would you move your hands? What would you do to look interested? How can you look more friendly? Implicitly, you know what those look like but you also have other things on your mind so you haven't emblazoned those "good practices" into your brain yet.
So "automatize" as much as you can, so your brain is free to create well when you are in a situation that may demand lots of higher brain thinking, like being with someone you are "interested in" romantically. And while you're at it in the "pre-deciding" and programming mode, decide what your limits and behaviors would be in pressure situations where you're not likely to be able to think, especially if your hormones are driving you the wrong directions!
PLENTY OF TIME, AND THE PERSPECTIVE TO HAVE PATIENCE
You have plenty of time to develop your capability, but the sooner you do it, the better your life will be. That is what this site is about.
You are developing at a super rapid pace, so you need to have patience with all that goes on, just let it be, just let it be that you can't jump ahead all at once to perfection or being powerful. You'll be having all of this go on: a mass of chemical bombardments, trying to figure out sexuality and love relationships , what life is about , which you didn't much have to figure out when you knew your parents were taking care of you as a child where you thought the ultimate was a new toy. where you knew you could be dependent and that not much was expected of you except for mostly good behavior....
LEARN SYSTEMATICALLY AND FROM GREAT RESOURCES
You will not know enough to handle all that comes about unless you get help of someone who has already learned what you need to learn. You cannot learn it all at once. But, of course, you can whittle away at it, and develop alot on your own, reading books such as Success For Teens, free from Successfoundation.org .
Alot of the time teenagers are uncomfortable talking with their parents, for fear of judgment or being rebuked. And their knowledge might not be so accurate. You might not want to copy them and get the results they are getting, for they are, judging from the results in their lives, often not in a high level state of knowing. Respect them for doing the best they can (as well as respecting yourself for doing the same). Although it seems to defy all you've been taught in this society, you should read and understand and decide if you will accept this truth expressed in Why There Is No Fault - Whatever Happens Happens For A Valid Reason and related pieces - it's about knowledge or lack thereof, period! It is crucial that you get off the criticism bandwagon and eliminate that as a source of stress, so you can focus on what is more important to develop.
One of the greatest principles that even adults need to follow is to get a mentor, who is someone who is wise and further down the path than you. That way you'll make fewer mistakes and you'll learn quicker rather than from trial and error. And life will be alot easier - I mean ALOT easier. If you don't do this, you are blowing off one of the most important and beneficial things you can do in all of life.
Just ask some adult who seems wise (and is healthy and seems psychologically together) if he would be your occasional mentor to ask questions about. He/she doesn't have to be an expert in psychology, but should be knowledgeable enough to be leading a good life. And if you can find a professional guidance counselor (even the one at school and even if he/she isn't "cool").
You should be reading about wisdom, such as the Success For Teens book, an hour a week, if you want to make fabulous gains, and engaged in conversation with your mentors at least a 1/2 hour a week.
