“Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.” Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
If I am with a person who is enlightened, he/she will have compassion for me as a fellow human being and will totally accept me. If that person chooses not to be with me, then that is only a reflection of what that person would rather do. It is not a reflection on my being.
If someone chooses not to be with me, it may be because I have not yet learned what to do to deliver more to that person than they could get in the alternative source. I simply haven't learned it, yet. I can choose to learn it, but there is no guarantee, as there may be something inside that person that still produces an impediment. It could be anything from "I'm too busy" to "I need some sympathy from someone" to "this person reminds me of my a------ uncle" and so on, and on and on.
BUT IF I 'NEED" PEOPLE
In most cases, people when they say I "need" others are speaking of needing approval. And, yes, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs lists recognition as one of the needs
One of the needs is for "safety", or "lack of feeling threatened". If we think our existence is threatened if somebody doesn't like us, we are existing in the thinking level of a child, who is dependent and powerless to fill all of his/her needs. Realizing fully, and severing our ties to the old beliefs, that we are now fully in charge and capable and not at all dependent on others frees us from any threat in this area.
Someone can like us or not like us, and we are still intact and able to operate to create what we want in life. There is no real effect, though we might feel a residual vague fear of what happens when we are kicked out of the tribe to possibly die in the jungle...
When we no longer need approval or acceptance, we are released from the prison and we are then free!
Note that Maslow's Hierarchy ends with a state of self-actualization where we are "less concerned with the opinon of others" - in other words, we are not stuck back in the idea of needing the good opinion of us from others. At that stage, we are interested in fulfilling our potential.
I AM SELF-SUFFICIENT
And, I submit, we are, and realize we are, self-sufficient. In truth, we are already capable of getting everything we need in our life, but few of us realize that, as we are operating on old paradigms/beliefs about what we need and on dependency. Read, know, and believe: Self-Sufficiency - Giving To Yourself What Is Needed
Part of what frees you up from "needing" approval from others is that you learn to love yourself, as a powerful adult able to fully take care of yourself. You no longer believe the erroneous belief that loving yourself doesn't mean anything and that all that is legitimate is approval from others (which you might notice you never get enough of, as it is an unwinnable game, one I suggest not playing anymore).
