Manage stress well or be unhappy and unhealthy, with cardiac disease, diabetes, cancer, immunity problems...and suffer and die early...
Thoughts --> Fight/Flight Response --> Stress chemicals --> Body damage, energy problems,
cardiac, diabetes, cancer, immune
system impairment
"Need I say more about the importance of stress management?"
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Think about it...
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Brain damage, shards of glass-like substances create scars in our blood vessels, excess weight, our bodies not being able to self-regulate well, immune system damage, losing our ability to learn and cognate as well, our ability to think declines, and our ability to experience pleasure at the higher level disappears - yet what is "out of sight" (out of awareness) is "out of mind" - so we do nothing about it.
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Think about it...
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The goal: During almost all days to have virtually no stess.
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Read:
PERSPECTIVE/DISCUSSION - Introduction - What is stress? What is its actual source? What is the actual process? How do I fix it? What should I learn in order to be a good manager? Evaluating costs versus payoffs. Learning as a high payoff use of time. Follow "The Plan". What point in the stress process to intervene?
Do:
Learn:
LEARNING PLAN - Use this program to learn so that you can better implement your stress plan and become an expert at stress management and peace of mind!
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PERSPECTIVE/DISCUSSION
CONTENTS
We vastly overtolerate stress - and its huge effect!
What is stress?
What is its actual source?
In short, what is the actual process?
How do I fix it?
What should I learn in order to be a good manager of it?
Evaluating costs versus payoffs
Learning as a high payoff use of time
Follow "the plan"
At what point in the process do I start?
What now?
How does one manage his/her emotions?
Relevant readings
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--> Handle threat
--> Hold fear --> Tension --> Damage
↑ ↑ ↑ ↑
(Hardest)
Best results are from intervening earlier in the chain/process.
Stress can be managed to be minimal in life - excessive stress is totally unnecessary and unuseful.
You should not tolerate anything but minimal stress in your life, period! (Live The 80/20 Life.)
If you keep on stressing, the quality of your life will be worsened plus your body will be highly damaged, further lowering the quality of your life.
You must make a decision on this - and then carry through to mastery if you want a very good life and to be happy!!!!
We'll guide you through how to do that. But first, get the overview.
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WE VASTLY OVERTOLERATE STRESS - AND ITS HUGE EFFECT!
The human body and mind can't take much ongoing stress, but we ignorantly continue to think we can tolerate. We can't!
We need to implement ways of cutting excess stress off immediately, not tolerating it to continue past the top of the curve into great damage. (We need to implement the Stress Plan and the Rx For Stress .)
Brain damage, shards of glass-like substances create scars in our blood vessels, excess weight, our bodies not being able to self-regulate well, immune system damage, losing our ability to learn and cognate as well, our ability to think declines, and our ability to experience pleasure at the higher level disappears - yet what is "out of sight" (out of awareness) is "out of mind" - so we do nothing about it.
Isn't knowing the effects above enough to get our attention?!!!? Isn't that enough to merit our effort?!!!?
Isn't that enough to get us in action, right now?!!!?
We not only need to do something about it, but we need to do it right away, not tolerating continuing stress for even more than a half a minute. We must stabilize our bodies and minds back into a healthy, homeostatic (balanced) state, as it is priceless and incredibly urgent.
Yes, we need to become models of stress management and prevention.
If not, it could cost you your life, the quality of your life, the good years.
Will you implement "the program"?
WHAT IS STRESS?
Stress itself is a valid emotional and physical reaction to actual danger, as it prepares us to be able to respond appropriately.
It is not useful when we create it otherwise or keep holding onto it for no benefit.
Stress is defined in the dictionary as "force exerted upon a body, that tends to strain or deform its shape" (deforms the abilities of the body/mind over the long term).
WHAT IS ITS ACTUAL SOURCE?
This section is about "managing stress", coping with it, lessening it at the moment and minimizing the triggers, but it is also about changing the long term, actual cause.
Be clear, although this is discussed in more depth later, that most stress is not related to actual danger and that we create most stress through faulty thinking/beliefs.
Many people are confident that 'what they believe' is "right", but the litmus test for validity is the experience of stress. If the effect (stress) is there, you can guarantee that the cause (faulty thinking/beliefs) is present. It is scientifically undeniable.
Stress, in one sense, is the gap between what we can control and the results we strive for and/or the unreal dangers we seek to avoid. Change any of these variables and you'll experience substantial differences. Even just the perception that one cannot control something one wants to control can create huge chemical havoc. Changing the beliefs about what one should even try to control makes a huge difference. (See Control and learn it!)
Measure stress and you'll know the degree of misbelieving.
Take the Stress test offered on line, get a score, and also print the test out, as they list what actually causes stress. This is from the wisdom and resources of L. S. Barksdale.
IN SHORT, WHAT IS THE ACTUAL PROCESS
Something occurs --> belief adds meaning --> emotion created
A "bad" emotion = stress.
HOW DO I FIX IT?
Before getting to the "how to's", it is useful to understand how your machinery operates, as you'll then be better able to choose what to do and better able to implement what is needed. [Most people tend to be dilettantes, fixing and reacting to things as they come up - and then repeating over and over unnecessary stress!]
WHAT SHOULD I LEARN IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD MANAGER?
To understand the whole process, it is good to at least brief yourself with the overview pieces included in the "Managing The Mind" section. In a nutshell, the mind has evolved to overdo the "danger" signals, then we accept, or not, what Dumb and Dumber "say", then we interpret through beliefs, which in turn create emotions, which are chemically damaging to the body and which wire us to repeat negatives. Then we must use the realities of the brain/mind to create healthy beliefs and thinking, following the rules for what produces happiness.
Once you know how the mind works, reading the overview parts of the Emotion Management section
We can stop stress and/or we can deal with it effectively, so we need to be aware of all of the elements to include in managing stress. We can choose to cure the cause of the stress so that it doesn't occur again, by changing one's belief system, or we can intervene earlier after the process has been triggered. We discuss below, using a chart, on where we can intervene to lower or eliminate stress - you can choose what to do, or not.
As part of the Learning Plan or separately right now, read:
Although referred to elsewhere, you definitely should read the Meditation Page, which also includes instruction on relaxation.
Knowing how to not have most of the stress in the first place has been dealt with over and over by "wise men" who have thought about it and devised many things that work. However, most people see many of these as impractical or too time consuming. We deal with that here, by considering the value versus time-cost and then integrating it into life in a combination that works for a better life, a life with low "bad" stress and much more happiness that is enduring and substantial.
You will also benefit from reading the key pieces in the Emotion Management section, as mind management, emotion management, and stress management are all tied together.
Since we are all likely to let some false beliefs create undue fears, we must then intervene at other points in the chain. All good managers use either The Pause or, a longer version of The Pause, The Time-Out Tool.
EVALUATING COSTS VERSUS PAYOFFS
As with all possible actions in life, we must estimate the positive value of something and subtract the "cost" to see how much "net value" the action has for ourselves. Then we compare that to what net value we can get for other actions, choosing what will give the biggest values per amount of time (time is the key cost).
The cost of the stress is:
1) Physiological
a) Short term stressing of body with long term toxic chemicals
b) Long term deterioration of the ability for the body to be balanced in its
reactions to physical occurrences (disease, etc.) in an effective way.
c) Long term damage to the physical body itself, so we function poorly, have
less energy, don't "feel" as good as we should, often dying early or having
more years of poor quality of life.
2) Psychological
a) The feeling of well-being is lost for the moment and our body/mind memory
remembers it as a background "something is wrong" feeling.
b) The quality of life is lower as we are not experiencing what is good about
life.
c) For most people, there is a "fog" of lower functioning, a kind of mild
depression.
3) Productivity
a) We get less done and feel less good about what is done.
b) We seek distraction, so we spend time trying not to be anxious, where we
could have used our time in something of more value or pleasure. Often
leads to addictive behaviors and practices that steal our lives from us.
LEARNING AS A HIGH PAYOFF USE OF TIME
As with all things we want to have in our lives, we must first learn in order to understand how things work basically and then devise a plan for implementing what will work for the individual (we're all somewhat different, but more similar than we think).
FOLLOW "THE PLAN"
Once you've learned a sufficient amount, then we develop a plan and a commitment to do what is in the plan. The reading pieces will guide you toward that. In building the plan, we must decide where to put our efforts, so we ask the following questions to determine the greatest "net value" for what we are going to do.
This is a vitally important choice in your life - as less stress will dramatically increase the quality of your life and will leave space for inserting great experiences you might not have had otherwise.
For the best results, at what point in the stress process do I start?
The question that will come up, especially in the "quick fix" viewpoint in the West, is where to start handling the problem of stress. We could choose to A. Not have the problem in the first place, B. To deal with the problem when it occurs, or C. Try to correct all the after effects from not doing A or B. But, I would suggest, it is unwise (i.e. it doesn't work) to try to undo all the damage once you see what you've accumulated it. It is best to be "proactive" (do a wise action beforehand) rather than "reactive" (the after the fact actions are dictated by what has happened).
A. THE SOURCE B. THE REACTION C. THE AFTER EFFECTS
Not have the problem at all Fix the problem soon Not fix quickly, suffer the long term
effects and try to repair the damage
VERY EFFECTIVE PRETTY EFFECTIVE, but SOME EFFECT
Comments, effects:
Takes time. Takes more time than Can't unravel many of the effects.
But improves current not having the problem Addictive habits hard to fix.
feelings and moods, in the first place. Physical damage irreversible.
saving time and providing
greater quality of life
Methods:
Clear, stress-free philosophy, Breathing (deep) Addiction rehabilitation
with "affirmations" and Relaxation (tension Medical intervention
"coping statements" reduction)
Thought defusing and Coping statements,
straightening "mantras"
Behavior change
Meditation
Exercise Exercise Exercise
Diet Diet Diet
WHAT NOW?
Then do "The Plan" for yourself, of what you want and what you'll do, using the Planning section to choose a format.
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HOW DOES ONE MANAGE HIS/HER EMOTIONS?
Using these techniques, which have been proven over and over to work, will help you live a more stable, more powerful life where the emotions no longer rule - and you get to choose the better emotions! Managing one's emotions well can enhance one's motivation and one's thinking so that one is actually and feels very powerful and effective. Go to Emotion Management section to see what you might wish to read and/or do.
Supplementary to stress management are the sections on Anxiety/Fear Management and Mood Management, so I included a copy of excerpts from those sections, though you can click on these links to go to that section.
READINGS DEALING WITH AND/OR ABOUT MANAGING STRESS
to read
useful to understand the inner workings. Just two basic pieces to read are
mentioned here.
and it also can cause a mood.
RELEVANT READINGS
See also the other sections of emotion management, recommended books.
Wasting your body and life with stress is a real pity.
then see the learning plan.
Stress Test: www.franklincovey.com - Take this test and you'll see some of the
solutions in the testing.
you need to commit to every day and the level of rest and relaxation needed to have
less anxiety and/or stress.
For no charge access the Barksdale Stress Control Book. Their insights
on stress and how to handle it are invaluable and very effective. This is a
very top recommended resource. (I have now purchased the copyrights.)
Book: Picture Perfect Prescription, Dr. Howard Shapiro. One part of 4 covers
stress over an 11 day daily program, plus 11 day programs for exercise,
nutrition, and "connections" to people and community. Excellent way to
learn and cover all areas and to get in gear in each.
you're on the computer.
These excerpts from the following sections are included here as they are integrally connected.
Stress is created by a need to react to supposed threats, with undue fear causing lots of undue stress.
ANXIETY/FEAR - Go to this section, clicking on the read underlined link to the left.
READ FIRST:
THREATS AND FEAR - Just reading this can assist you in getting rid of fears, but
also it is a good idea to use the "Fears List" process below.
body reacts from our pre-conscious emotions and what we cannot do (that we
believe we can do) and what we actually can do, simply and very doably.
Some of the items in that section:
See Personal Plan For Recovery - This is a good structure to install a foundation to
avoid any consistent downness. Designed by specialists and available on the
Worksheets and then Personal Plan.
Notes
Stress is a normal physical response to events that make you feel threatened or upset your balance in some way. When you sense danger – whether it’s real or imagined – the body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction, or the stress response.
The stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life – giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.
The stress response also helps you rise to meet challenges. Stress is what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you'd rather be watching TV.
But beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, and your quality of life.
