BODY SENSATIONS AS BOSS
I realized (or saw more clearly?) that I was letting my body sensations run me and that I was, as is so true of us humans, using inappropriate (and not useful) means to deal with them.
I learned (or was reminded) by watching Tony Robbins videos on YouTube about "state management" that I could control my state directly and not through indirect or not useful (often harmful) means. I let my state dictate what I did, rather than dictating my state. See this site's State Management page.
Using these ideas on creating my own state on purpose, I did some of the following and just noticed what worked and what I needed to refine further.
On my day of the week for fasting, I noticed that when I felt hungry I didn't need to make a big deal about it, but could, instead, just breathe into my stomach (metaphorically) and relax the sensation away. In fact, I concluded, I could do that with any feelings (sensations) that are uncomfortable, dealing directly with them rather than using an indirect or not useful means.
INDIRECT OR NOT-USEFUL MEANS WOULD INCLUDE:
Eating to offset a feeling of emptiness or the need to "do something" or to seek a soothing feeling (ice cream in particular). [Once I breathed into it and decided I no longer wanted to be the victim of it and that it was useless and harmful on a net long term basis, then I just stopped eating it. Then I would just breathe into it and relax when I felt the vague feeling of discomfort. I also realized that I did not need the diversion off my path and that I would just respond directly to life, which should be more effective. I would directly go for what I want, as a policy to run my life on. I stopped eating ice cream abruptly and successfully, which also contributed to my not eating after 8, which also helped me to sleep better and to not have acid reflux late at night. This should also help my weight to be more optimal.]
Flaking out in front of tv, entertaining myself with the political dramas discussed on the cable news shows, oft-repeating seeing the same thing again on the different shows. That's a poor use of my time, of course, and it is a ramping down to a very low energy and a state of virtual non-existence. [So, I decided I must do whatever it takes to use this time usefully. My plan to solve this is listed below.]
Playing distracting computer game, with little "rewards", occupying my mind, but going into almost a hypnotic, lethargic state, with no will or freshness.
The three together made for a lot of mindless eating, so they combined and exacerbated the overall situation.
MANAGING MY STATE DIRECTLY, INSTEAD
What I did to handle this was as follows:
Noticing my state being low (which is obvious and easy) was the first step, as always [awareness is always the first and necessary step]. I then could do what it takes to proactively manage my state. The strategies to choose among were:
Taking a nap until I felt refreshed.
Exercising or moving in some way
Using the quickie state management techniques (shoulders back, breathe deeply, stand tall, jump up and down if necessary, do the "Yes!" of Tony Robbins, stand up instead of sitting.
And I would not allow myself to be lower than a 6 (or if I didn't reach that, I imposed napping).
To make it easier to do some of the things I found more useful but didn't do when I was on the couch or out of it, I reworked my office area for more comfort and the ability, if I felt more compelled to get a dose of what is going on (via tv), to watch tv in the background. I recorded on the computer (which was wired for tv) some of the programs I might like to watch. I cleared away working space on my desk to where I could prop my legs up on the desk to relax in a different position while reading or whatever.
Since I seemed to develop some mental fatigue from working on the site a long time, I added some other activities in to provide variety (although they were contributory), such as: reading books, watching some of the free videos (see my free videos page).
I was careful to ask "Am I really tired? Did I not have enough sleep?" If I couldn't see why I would actually be tired, I did the state management physical moves, to access that energy reserve that is there for us all. I used my judgment to see if a 20 minute nap, with some movement after I finished, might be better for me. But I didn't let myself languish any more!!!
MY DECISION IS BASED ON...
I simply will not tolerate wasting 3, 4, or more hours each evening - blowing a part of life unnecessarily when I could use it so much better to create more in my life. I simply will not tolerate letting my "feelings" run my life. I will, absolutely, run my feelings, as I notice them and turn them around. I will, absolutely, manage my state of resourcefulness so that it is high and I can live life fully and not languish.
