CONTENTS
Disempowered to empowered
The starting position
The need for a whole new conversation and realizations
The blow up
Putting it together, piece by piece
But would it work?
Coming together
And the story continues...
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DISEMPOWERED TO EMPOWERED
This page will contain the intro to the case of the disempowered empowerer, who first came to me completely discouraged, having lost money in a scheme to get out of the job she so hated and being in a situation with no "community" she could relate to.
Six months later, she was again empowered, but we had to go through a process to get there. And since then she has become even more empowered and powerful in living her life as a true inspiration.
THE STARTING POSITION
In July of 2004, she was the opposite of empowered. This was ironic since she had coached a number of athletes and team to great success, much of which was attributable to what we figured was her ability to empower. A year or so before, this shy but sweet woman had sought to find her calling. In the class designed for that purpose, at the end of the weekend we were finalizing what was our calling or our purpose - although she didn't seem to own it at the time, it was clear in our small group and also to our overall class that she was an Empowerer.
The inital conversations with me were not those of an empowered woman. She felt "stupid", was devastated by the loss, had no hope, was focused on the negative and wouldn't accept positives, was very critical of herself and others, felt that external circumstances determined her and how she felt, and was not feeling very likable. She was totally convinced that was the case and that it was unchangeable, though obviously she must have felt there was perhaps "some" hope or she wouldn't have come to me.
THE NEED FOR A WHOLE NEW CONVERSATION AND REALIZATIONS
I discussed with her how she needed to get some "basic education" in possibility thinking and in ways of being more powerful and having a more powerful conversation. I tried to convince her a number of times that she should attend the Landmark Forum in order to develop a basis for us to have a vocabulary that would facilitate our further building of her confidence, but I failed, until she finally agreed.
THE BLOW UP
She then went to the workshop and blew out of it before it even started through the "incompetence" of some 16 year old gal who was assisting, refused to leave when asked, insisted that she would stay regardless of their not having her registration, etc. She was basically an "argument waiting to happen."
Fortunately, she called me to tell me she'd blown out of it and was not going to attend the stupid thing. Coincidentally, though, I picked up the phone at exactly the same time as when the recorder went on, so I had the whole conversation. So I wrote out each statement she made and then I devised an answer or a new way of looking at it.
PUTTING IT TOGETHER, PIECE BY PIECE
She was devastated by the idea of "loss". I worked on a perspective sheet which is now posted on the site in the Gratitude section and originally titled What I Have Versus Losses (see also the section called Loss). In discussing that she attained a perspective as to the miniscule nature of so-called losses compared to what we actually have. Read that piece and see if you agree with the perspective, for it is an essential, I think, understanding to put into a foundation to build happiness on.
BUT WOULD IT WORK?
We got together very frequently, as she had the summer off.
She was doubtful if she would be employed for the school year, in the job that she hated so much but couldn't afford not to have. (Later, when the press asked who to talk to about the closing of one of the three schools in the district, the principal referred them to Cindy, who he was confident would address it very powerfully and positively.)
She worked hard at it, but felt so entrenched in the doom and gloom that she thought there was little hope. She was depressed and she was "such a loser" and so incapable it was a sure thing that life would be terrible.
I didn't know what would happen, whether we would succeed or not. It was dependent on her and I didn't know if she would persevere enough to make it happen. But I did believe that people who learn right ideas and right thinking will inevitably start to do well and continue to spiral upward. Would she make it work?
COMING TOGETHER
But the hard work did pay off, as it all seemed to suddenly come together (once we had finished some of the basic concepts things began to make sense and we could tie the whole picture together).
And the rest of the story is laid out in the two updates that follow, read them and see what worked and how she created them. Some of it might look like circumstance caused her to feel better, but the primary cause of what worked was herself, not just things happening to her.
When she identified the 21 factors that contributed to her complete turnaround within six months (I didn't hear from her for about 4 months of it), they read like a success manual and one for positive thinking. The Empowered Empowerer - Six Months Later.
Read the piece called The Empowered Empowerer - Another Three Months. She went from being a "stand for positivity" and a person who was employing 20+ attitudes and practices that were very empowering up to "the next level", which was, in retrospect, kind of incredible. The results she produced and the being she chose to be are an inspiration to me to this day.
AND THE STORY CONTINUES...
I have been blown away by her warmth and positivity to this very day in late 2009 as I run into her occasionally. I am enveloped by her warmth and positivity every time I see her. I'll get together with her soon and I'll write up more of her story, some of which I heard from other people, all stories of her proactivity and what she has created for herself.
May, 2010
She called, for a break in studies, all excited about life, "I'm proud of myself", "I'm excited.". She is finishing her Masters Degree, "becoming a true master, expressing my strengths" (which is a key source of enduring happiness, incidentally).
Her experience was that there was alot of studying to do, but she reminded herself of her values when she had to choose between the urge to socialize versus getting down to work. She is successfully choosing to get down to work - and to do what is of value.
