CONTENTS
What is an unwinnable game?
Find winnable games, create a new life!
Worth
Getting enough approval
Trying to prove one is "good enough"
Having your partner make up for your parents and/or your past
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WHAT IS AN UNWINNABLE GAME?
It is an unwinnable game if you can never get enough of something that you tell yourself you need to be happy.
It's either very possible to win a game (so choose those), it's very difficult to win the next level up, the "superstretch" game (so limit those), and it's impossible to win perfection or unrealistic expectations games (so don't play those at all).
You want to play a game where you can get what you want, so you must limit yourself to using a reliable source of it (or you're looking in the wrong place!).
Trying to win an unwinnable game (or a too-hard game for the possible results) will take too much away from other valuable things. You must measure the price of something versus the probability and value of what you get from it - always using the 80/20 Principle to run your life.
Unwinnable games are often created by setting unreasonable standards of what is enough or by going for something that is unattainable. Examples of how people waste their lives playing the wrong games are abundant, from trying to get "enough" approval from others in order to be feel you're good enough, ok, or worthy to trying to get "perfect love".
Fuhgedaboutit!
FIND WINNABLE GAMES, CREATE A NEW LIFE!
Find winnable games. Identify what are unwinnable or bad deal games and dump them. Fill in the great space left with winnable games.
And all of a sudden you'll find life is very easy and full of great stuff that you create.
You are a complete and whole creator of your life, so please pick the games in which you can create a great life, with high certainty. I repeat "high certainty". There is a guaranteed path to creating a great life, one that is not contingent on aerie faerie stuff or difficult, gargantuan efforts or uncertain "hope" strategies.
Read below. Think also of other unwinnable games (probably the ones you notice you don't seem to win).
Then make decisons on how to run your life, using the right (winnable) games!
WORTH
How can I ask "Am I worthy of life?" if I, in fact, already have life. I am alive, and unless someone is deciding whether or not I should die, worth is a moot question, it is irrelevant and means nothing at all.
I am alive. That's it!
If my worth to the world or to another is being judged by another, then that is simply the approval game - a game in this culture that is simply something to accept as being there but not to set up yourself as being the victim of. You're alive, there's zero consequences in most people disapproving of you and some dealable consequences with those who are close to you. But your worth is unquestionable. Get this down solidly - start by reading Self Worth.
GETTING ENOUGH APPROVAL
Making up for the approval you didn't get enough of in childhood is not possible to do through others! You can't control others to get enough - and most likely they are just trying to do the same thing plus trying to get other things in life that are more important than giving you approval. And it is likely that they have criteria that are not relevant and not right.
You are the only one who can fill yourself up. (Read Give To Yourself What Is Needed.) So, please realize this and stop wasting your efforts trying to get something from a place where it is ungettable - and then channel all of your effort into what is doable - creating your own acceptable and love and approval for yourself. Read Approval.
TRYING TO PROVE ONE IS "GOOD ENOUGH"
A little bit like "worth", "good enough" is some ethereal ungettable in the way most people play the game. There really is no such thing, though there is a close relative that one must have in order to be happy: believing one is "capable enough" to handle life - a form of confidence, but one that allows one to let go of the huge number of false fears we create. (See Fearlessness and also "Getting To Be Good Enough".)
HAVING YOUR PARTNER MAKE UP FOR YOUR PARENTS/PAST
Re-parenting each other is a noble hoped for goal in relationships, but not a winnable one. It is certainly positive to contribute to another, but it is impossible to "re-parent" another, except in fairy land. See Trying To Get The Ungettable In Relationships.
