MAKING WRONG, BEING RIGHT
NOT WORKABLE, NOT REAL



CONTENTS

The "game"
Definitions
It is fear-based and harmful
It creates these other harmful practices/viewpoints
...And these ultimate effects
There is only one valid viewpoint
__________________________________________________________


THE "GAME"

These phrases are a specific distinction in language made so that one can distinguish a "game" that is played by mankind. 

The game is one of "position" where one is trying to be "better than", at least relatively, compared to another person or one of trying to exert manipulative control

In the first one, one is trying to reassure oneself that one is ok.  The reason one wants to reassure oneself that one is ok is based on the idea that one must be ok to be loved and that one must be loved (to be fed and sheltered).  It is the opposite of a responsibility position and is more akin to a child's viewpoints and conclusions about life.  Surely, if one knows that one is ok (i.e. "good enough"), one would not need to reassure oneself that one is ok and therefore would have no use for the game. 

It is the kissing cousin and virtual equivalent in purpose of "good/bad" evaluations.

Just as using the judgments of good/bad can be used in an attempt to manipulate another, right/wrong can be brought out as a "tool". 

They worked on us as children, and then we carried them forth, unquestioningly, into adulthood.  See "Live Through The Tools And Decisions Of A Child?"

But now it is time to reexamine this practice and to see if something else is more workable.   


DEFINITIONS

Of definitions of  "wrong", these are applicable here:

Not functioning properly; out of order.
Unacceptable or undesirable according to social convention.

But the sense of the word here is pejorative in nature.  Pejorative means disparaging; belittling.  

So, we most often are, unwisely, using the second definition above.  We use it as some kind of judgment not a statement of correct or incorrect.

It is purely a "made-up", a fabricated concept which has no reality in the real world. 


IT IS FEAR-BASED AND HARMFUL

It results from fear of:

     Not being good enough,
     Someone finding fault with you (not approving of you)...
     Not controlling another to get them to do what you want or not do what
         you don't want


IT CREATES THESE OTHER HARMFUL PRACTICES/VIEWPOINTS

Some of the other harmful practices and viewpoints we create from the pejorative view are:  (Put in the search engine to link.)

Criticism/Blame
Shame
Guilt
Rejection
Perfection
Resentment
Not good enough, unworthy


...AND THESE ULTIMATE EFFECTS

The ultimate effects/results of a pejorative viewpoint are lots of stress and malfunctioning (as the brain shuts down when in the emergency, fear mode). 

The whole basis of right/wrong, good/bad and the resultant "not good enough", etc. are a house of cards dependent on one type of thinking that is a fiction and has no useful function. 

Knock out the basic idea underlying it and the whole house of cards comes tumbling down, and the prospects for happiness go shooting skyward.  Those who feel bad about themselves and about life base that on beliefs structured around this invalid, false, harmful base.  Read Good/bad, Right/wrong vs. Workability , noting the discussion on how the house of cards will fall. 

We are creating needless suffering and struggle.  Learn about that as another viewing of the same idea.

(Note that there is no being right without making someone or something wrong.)


THERE IS ONLY ONE VALID VIEWPOINT

The only valid question is "is it workable?" 

And based around that idea is the question in Ethics "how can I create the greatest amount of total good for those involved?", though obviously there must be good for you.

This opposite view is a practical view, based on what works and coming from the viewpoint of total responsibility.
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RELATED

Being Right - Great cost, take the pledge!
Good/bad v. workable - Run your life based on workability - and it'll work!
Decisions Of A Child? - We often use the viewpoint of us being a child - and it doesn't work!
Not being good enough - A very misunderstood concept - a very costly! Approval - Totally missing the boat in what works in life - and harming oneself.
Control - Inappopriate attempts at control are one of the greatest wastes on the planet.
Total responsibility - You cannot have a happy life without this, period!
IT IS ABOUT BEING "PEJORATIVE"

We must differentiate judging in order to estimate something from judging in a right/wrong, good bad way.  The latter is usually the one referred to in "being judgmental of others". 

Of course, we have to use "judgment" in our lives, but that refers to "good judgment", proper estimation of the situation or person and what to do.  But the intent is only to estimate the person in order to do what is the best action - it is NOT to "be judgmental" in a pejorative way. 

Pejorative is defined as:   "a word or phrase that has negative connotations or that is intended to disparage or belittle.

When we reach the heights of wisdom, we recognize that all of what happens is neutral in reality, so we no longer add the "negative" connotation.