CHECKLIST/CHECKUP FOR A HEALTH, HAPPY RELATIONSHIP
MAKING THE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WORK VERY, VERY WELL!


Instructions:  Use this checklist every six months if the relationship is going relatively well.  Otherwise, every month.  Check off what you are doing right and then fix the others!

__ I have completed my education/training in relationships and have mastery in it.
   __ I have read at least the major pieces on this site.
__ I have written out how I would like to be in our relationship and I have a plan to implement
   it.   Designing, Planning...
__ Express gratitude and appreciation at least once a day.

Never, never do these:

__ Criticize the other (__ I have studied Why There Is No Fault.)
   __ Take Other's Inventory
__ Complaining (pointing up something negative without positively seeking solution)
__ Use punishment as a motivator 
__ Offer suggestions if not asked (Control)
__ Make demands (only do requests, using this way of Making Requests Of Your Partner.)
__ Express anger (the anger is about you and expressing it wires it into your brain)
__ Express resentment (the very same mechanism as anger, and very silly!)
__ Blame the other (a childhood strategy that is a poor one, with bad results)
__ Express irritation (always catch it and deal with it with myself, it is a form of blame)
__ Speak in other than a calm voice (or very close, with few slip ups, take Time Out if louder)
__ Act on impulse (Impulse Control - The First Step To Maturity)
__ Walk away when my partner is talking about touchy stuff
__ Leave issues unresolved, unfinished (unless appointment time is set up to finish it)
   __ We always, religiously follow The Rules To Resolve Issues checklist.
__ I use time outs freely and productively, in a friendly manner.

But I do:

__ I am sure to at least do 5 positives for each negative (Minimum For A Relationship To Work)
__ I am always gentle and kind with my partner; I realize that nothing else works. (Loving.)
__ I am following all the healthy actions on these checklists, so that I am psychologically
    and physically in good well-being and able to be fully present for the relationship
   __ The Healthy Living Master Checklist
   __ My Physical Well-Being Checklist
       __ I realize and therefore moderate alcohol intake (Alcohol, Health, Happiness And
           Relationships)
       __ I insure that I get enough sleep so that I am well-rested.
       __ I am moderate in caffeine intake and the intake of refined carbs and refined sugar,
           and I realize the effect on my relationships and my own happiness.
__ I make sure I do these checkups when needed:
   ___ When Is The Sensitivity Mostly One's Own Problem? 
__ Follow The Top Rules To Maintain A Relationship 
__ Communicate With Integrity
__ Use techniques that are helpful (Relationship Repair)
   __ Couples counseling
   __ The 4 Hour Relationship Alignment Process 

My attitude and character in the matter

__ I am 100% Self-Responsible (the opposite is anger, blame, etc.) 


Knowledge of where you are at (Testing And Monitoring The Relatsionship)

__ Rating Of My Choices Of Action In Relationship (partner optionally can do one of self).
__ Actions And Feeling In And About Our Relationship 
__ I have done this Self-Evaluation Prior To Psychological Or Problem Solving 
__ I have cleared up my whole List Of Make-Wrongs Of My Partner.
__ I am clear as to What Is Not Working For Me In Our Relationship and I followed The
      Instructions For Filling Out The Questionnaire. 
 
Relationships - Main Page

Contents/Links Directory Relationships Section 

Designing, Planning, Creating, Building The Relationship You Love - "Build It Well And It Will Work Forever "  - Intentionally deciding what you want, what you will do and how you'll be, and then implementing the ways to achieve that.