THE WHAT AND THE WHY
These are simply statements where I clearly lay out what the consequences are of my choosing an action or a belief - and make it clear that by choosing the action or belief I am, in substance, choosing to have happy consequence or I am choosing to have negative consequences.
We often fail to clearly connect what we are doing with the consequences. And often we also fail to predict accurately what the consequences are. (Most often, it is useful to have someone review the consequences you believe will result from an action. You also should learn what it is that actually produces happiness and what doesn't.)
Repeatedly connecting to the reality of it and being clear about the consequences causes one to make better choices. Put you "I choose" statements in your Reminders Notebook and review them daily for 21 days and then weekly thereafter - or any time you are not experiencing the consequences you want.
HERE ARE EXAMPLES:
If I choose this, I choose happiness:
If I choose this, I choose unhappiness or "not" happiness:
(Often, people have things they don't like and think they want to change, so one can start with the negative. However, one must always end up making it into a positive, as a "not" is not something that is doable.)
If I choose to stay up late, I choose to be off balance and perhaps tired. With this, I choose unhappiness.
I have the power to choose and certainly I do not want to choose negative consequences.
What I choose instead and declare as what I hereafter do is to go to bed before 12, so I can be fully rested and balanced for the next day's happiness.
______
If I choose to watch much tv, I choose to zone out, go into mild depression, and use up time I could use for something I really want or that could benefit me. With this, I choose unhappiness.
If I choose to watch much tv, I choose to make it easy to eat thoughtlessly and uselessly. That will cause me harm. With this choice, I choose to be overweight and less healthy.
I have the power to choose and certainly I do not want to choose negative consequences.
What I choose instead and declare as what I hereafter do is to either not watch tv or to limit it to less than one hour in any one day. I am aware of the Law Of No Compromise, so if the hour turns into more, I will simply choose to draw a clear line of No Compromise.
______
(What do you do when you "know" you are making a bad choice but feel compelled in the moment to seek relief or comfort? You stop. You sit back. You breathe deeply and calm yourself. Closing your eyes for a bit is very restful. Relax your whole body, especially your jaw and eyes. Read Relaxed, Centered, In Touch, 3 Minutes At A Time. Use this every time you feel "disinclined" to do something positive also.
For this, you should write out a statement of clarity and intent to do it. Add as a consequence: "I can relax and be at peace whenever I choose - and that is calming and sweet to me.")
PUT THESE ON YOUR "DO" AND "DO NOT DO" LISTS
Although someone could object and say this is "extra" work, it is essential work, as it contributes by putting this more solidly in place in your mind, plus this can provide a quick clarity reminder list.
THE DOING/BELIEVING TO CREATE THE CONSEQUENCES
H
I feel like going and watching tv. I want to "fill the void". I feel tired or out of it and this would be easier.
I feel _______________. What I need to do in order not to continue that undesired feeling is . If I do this, I will feel better.
