What I realize:
I, by choosing the "being" of "being a child", am choosing my unhappiness. I see that that way of being will not produce different results and I hereby give up all semblances of thinking that if I keep doing this same thing somehow I'll get better results (rescued, approved of, loved, praised, being perfect, etc.).
I know this is a racket because I have consistently experienced a loss of power from it.
My believed payoffs:
That I'll be ok if someone rescues me. That I will be safe if there is someone to rescue me (as I needed to feel as a child).
That approval will make me feel adequate and make me be "ok".
That I can make up for a childhood where I wasn't loved enough.
That I am too weak and cannot create my own power and my own love of myself.
The costs
I lose virtually all of my freedom to fully express myself.
I spend alot of wasted time on a useless treadmill, trying to control others to get something that ultimately does not satisfy me.
I lose my feeling of power to create what I want. And, consequently, I lose what I could have created if I directed my energy toward nurturing myself and toward creating a future to live into that is worth my life.
I create great anxiety and stress, which, in turn, has me feeling tired and experiencing damage to my body and my mood.
My declaration:
I will completely understand the costs of being a child and the benefits of fully placing myself in the being of a nurturing, rational adult for myself. I will not put up with the costs and the resulting loss of happiness. I declare this day that I shall fully express myself and fully give myself freedom from thinking I need the approval of others and to "look good". I declare that I shall be authentically myself, accepting that I may lose the people who liked my mask, but being joyous in knowing that those who like the real me are true friends.
I am, from this day forward, a rational, nurturing adult, choosing to leave behind my old way of being a child.
This I declare on this day and forever. This is my decision. This is the way it shall be. I fully choose to be responsible and in-charge of my life.
The action steps I will take are:
Studying and realizing and honing my understanding such that I am freed up from:
The idea of being rescued
The idea of needing approval of others to be ok or to feel loved, and the idea of
needing to be praised, at all.
The idea that I need to be perfect to be ok.
