WHICH ONES TO READ FIRST: There are a number of good books out there, but it is important to read them in priority order. Some are absolutely essential to a good education in life management, so they will be given a priority rating above others. You should read the prioritized (A-B) and then the asterisked books if the area is relevant. However, all the books are excellent.
(Print this page and then mark off which ones to order through the link to Amazon.com.)
CONTENTS:
Overall
Problem Solving
Overall
Gender Related
RELATIONSHIPS - OVERALL
*First Impressions- What You Don't Know About How Others See You, Ann Demarais,
Ph.D. and Valerie White, Ph.D., The best of its type that I've ever seen. It is essential
that you learn these insights and skills to succeed in this world, no matter what it is you
do. You can also print a copy of the tables and self-assessment forms off of the
website: www.firstimpressionsconsulting.com.
Alt. A1 A Healthy Relationship, The Complete Idiot's Guide to, Dr. Judy Kuriansky - Very good
coverage. A good book to read together.
The Marriage Spirit, Finding The Passion And Joy Of Soul-Centered Love, Evelyn and Paul
Moschetta - A beautiful, loving approach to having the love you really want in your
marriage.
A2 *NEW COUPLE (The), Introducing The Ten New Laws of Love, Maurice Taylor and Seana
McGee - This is a great grounding book and a book from which to learn about how to love
and get along. It could be the best book to read first.
*THE RELATIONSHIP RESCUE WORKBOOK, Dr. Philip C. McGraw - Go through all the
exercises in this book and you'll have the relationship rescued, especially if you add a
great weekend workshop, like Marriage Builders. The workbook, of course, is based on
his book of the same title, which you should definitely buy. I think that these two books
will serve as an excellent basis for creating the relationship you want, together with, most
likely, a great workshop. This might be a bit "heavy" for some to take themselves through
so some of the DVD programs might take precedence - see the websites above for
DVDs and/or CD's.
A1 *RELATIONSHIPS FOR DUMMIES, Dr. Kate Wachs - Nicely written and understandable -
AND it deals with plenty of important, high level "stuff."
Undefended Love, Jett Psaris, Ph. D.
COMMUNICATION
COMMUNICATION MIRACLES FOR COUPLES, TOOLS TO CREATE MORE LOVE AND LESS CONFLICT, Jonathan Robinson - A brilliant book, which deals very succinctly with
wisdom and Methods that will immensely enhance your relationship.
*Conscious Loving, Gay and Kathleen Hendricks. I love this book! The agreements, the
perspective, the communication level are all very empowering.
A2 THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, Gary Chapman. One of the best selling books of all
time. No wonder, as it has essential materials and a message that can transform any
relationship. Definitely read it! www.garychapman.org, www.fivelovelanguages.com
*Keeping the Love You Find, Harville Hendrix. Though it continues the theme of his other
book (below), there are worthwhile methods and insights that might help you to keep the
relationship you have and/or to have a better relationship.
How Loving Couples Fight, 12 Essential Tools For Working Through The Hurt, James L.
Creighton, Ph. D.
A1 *New Couple (The), Introducing The Ten New Laws of Love, Maurice Taylor and Seana
McGee - This is a great grounding book and a book to learn about how to love and get
along. It could be the best book to read first.
Nonviolent Communicating (A Language Of Life), Marshal B. Rosenberg, Ph. D.- A classic,
making clear the damage of and the distinction of what is violent to another in terms of
damaging them in some way. Anger and resentment are ways of violence, ones that
should not be a part of our lives.
PROBLEM SOLVING: (Also, included in the books above.)
How Loving Couples Fight, 12 Essential Tools For Working Through The Hurt, James L.
Creighton, Ph. D.
A WE CAN WORK IT OUT - How To Solve Conflicts, Save Your Marriage, and Strengthen
Your Love For Each Other, Clifford Notarius, Ph.D. & Howard Markman, Ph. D. - This book
will help you do all this, in a very practical and understandable way.
You're Never Upset For The Reason You Think, The Cure For The Common Upset, Layne
being your partner's "fault". Use the process in this book to do the CURE (Conscious
Upset Resolution Exercise) to get to what the real problem is. A clue: it's from your past
and it's from a child's thinking that you are currently letting run your life!
RELATIONSHIP REPAIR:
For relationships that have deteriorated, go to this section and review the resources that
are recommended. Relationships can, indeed, be repaired in most cases. Following
the advice on this website about how to create a great relationship should be added
immediately after the rescue/repair process is completed.
MAKING LOVE: Section transferred to the Making Love page, where all updates will be.
FINDING, SELECTING - REALISTICALLY CREATING YOUR DREAM RELATIONSHIP
RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
*GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT, Harville Hendrix. Great insights, a bit "literal", so keep
it in perspective. Quite revealing where we have blind spots. Can save some big errors!
If The Buddha Dated, Charlotte Kasl - What do you really value and what do you value
the most in setting your criteria.
LOVE SMART, Dr. Phil McGraw - Practical "in your face" wisdom and selecting the right
"material" and then building the relationship so it has relationship durability.
FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON - Read at least two of these!!! I've rated two as the top
recommended. Books and audiotapes by Neil Clark Warren are particularly recommended.
Planning it all! Having a plan ahead of time makes a huge difference!
The Marriage Plan, How To Marry Your Soul Mate In One Year Or Less, Aggie Jordan,
Ph.D.
Mainly dating:
*Complete Idiot's Guide To Dating, Dr. Judy Kuriansky
Dating After 50, Sharon Romm, M.D.
Finding A Husband After 35 - Using What I learned At Harvard Business School, Rachael
Greenwald, MBA
How To Marry A Multimillionaire, Ted Morgan, et. al. - Not to do that, but to learn what is
necessary to attract a particular type of person.
*Online Dating For Dummies, Judith Silverstein, MD - It pays to do this intelligently!!!!!!
More for perspective also - Very important! Particularly the compatibility checking!!!!
A Finding The Love Of Your Life, Ten Principles For Choosing The Right Marriage Partner, Neil Clark Warren (Mr. eHarmony)
A Love Smart, Dr. Phil McGraw
The Love Compatibility Book, The 12 Personality Traits That Can Lead You To Your
Soulmate, Edward Hoffman, Ph. D. and Marcella Bakur Weiner, Ph. D.
the eharmony set.
SCREENING - THE FINAL SCREENING BEFORE PROCEEDING FURTHER!
Take a workshop before getting married! See the Compatibility and other screening
How To Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing In Two Dates Or Less, Neil Clark Warren -
You can save alot of time! And life is made up of better choices for your time!
How To Spot A Dangerous Man Workbook, Sandra L. Brown, M.A. - Spotting red flags,
from emotionally unavailable to...22 worksheets and quizzes. Great grounding book for
dating and not making the same mistakes!
Lies At The Altar, Dr. Robin L. Smith - Find out who he/she really is and cease operating
from the myths.
RELATING (A is the highest priority rating.)
A *THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR MARRIAGE, Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
Some valuable insights and possibly marriage saving understanding. If you don't buy into
this, don't get married.
A+ THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR HUSBAND, Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
If you don't buy into this
A HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS, Willard F. Harley, Jr. - Become aware of what the needs are
that need to be filled to have a happy marriage. Complete with tests and questionnaires
that will absolutely nail down what is needed and what needs to be improved to make the
relationship work at the highest level. Many of the key questionnaires are printable from
B *Light His Fire and *Light Her Fire, Ellen Kreidman. Buy both, one for each of you. These
could make a really big difference as it allows you to see what is important and helps get
you to do it. The benefits are great.
KNOWING ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX - Don't keep operating from suppositions, incomplete
insights, blindnesses, and myths. Without knowing this area fully, you will make so many
mistakes and waste so much effort. By knowing the area, you will direct your efforts very
efficiently and no longer engage in making the other gender wrong! See the books immediately
above but read at least one of these below, though I strongly recommend two. See the
"Making Love" books above. CAVEAT: Be sure you don't believe everything in each book is
true of your partner; check it out with them.
A IT'S A GUY THING, David Deida - One of the best experts on men. Remember, though,
that not everything is true of every man, so check it out!
A+ Exposing Men - Understanding Their 5 Life Challenges - Read this and you'll develop
more compassion for your man plus a number of tools for supporting your man and for
A+ MAKING SENSE OF MEN, Kevin Leman - Read this to guarantee a great relationship
with your man. The best and clearest explanation I've seen.'
A+ THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR HUSBAND, Dr. Laura Schlessinger -
Essential! Do this for a successful marriage.
See the books described in the above section also and, of course, in the Love Making Section.
Light His Fire
Light Her Fire
His Needs, Her Needs
